deffany

actually i wanted to tell you this in person... but then i dont really think i have the chance.. hahas ... actually i really want to thank you. for really letting me know who i am and for finding back who i really am. i guess you must find me troublesome and irritating now right? you know after some time when i got the chance to get close to you, troubles started dashing to me you know, my family(needless to say), social, and my academy is starting to waver. then i started to feel to alone and dont want other people to see the weak side of me. so i really wanted to rely my emotional burden on you and hope u can give me the support i want. but i guess i overdependent on you, somehow i feel that you started to distance away from me may be because we just have a fight and my trouble comes soon after that. then my mind couldn't think of anyone else, cause you are the only close friend i know that no need to take exams and maybe show u the the other side of me. day by day pass i guess u know what happen i could handle it well anymore maybe because i really want some one to rely on and my academy grade really started to go down. but then this really let me learn a lesson, i know my exams this time round will really sux but still... i started to ask my self where is the mcenroe that used to be strong in mind and body who can handle everything by himself, and since when does he need to rely on other people. why is he getting so weak now. i guess i couldnt blame other people why will i score so bad now, cause i wanted to rely on other people too much... i should just continue my journey with a strong goal in mind and never give up...(cause at a point of time i really give up for a while)... now i have return and learn never to rely on other people but oneself to be who you really are... but then you are a really great friend(cause you really make me smile from my bottom of my heart)... do you also think so deffany? hahas ... to be honest i still like the past deffany when she had no make up on and say what she want with me... or maybe i did really didn't understand you. =) you must be angry or think why i never tell you on the sms or call you... to let people know the weak side of me really takes up alot of courage and really need supper lot of time. when all the other people see is always the strong smart proud childish side of me.